Wickedly withering cov lus los ntawm cov npe nrov xws li Madonna, Barack Obama thiab Karl Lagerfeld.
Lub ib hlis ntuj
“Zoo siab txais tos rau Twitter… @RupertMurdoch. Kuv tau tso koj cov lus Zoo Xyoo Tshiab ntawm kuv lub suab!”
John prescott reacts rau xov xwm mogul lub nascent social media muaj nyob
"Yog tias kuv zoo li nkauj xwb, Ricky, ua cas koj tsis tuaj ntawm no thiab ua ib yam dab tsi txog nws?"
Madonna tom qab Ricky Gervais ntawm Golden Globes, tom qab tus neeg hu nkauj tau lees tias tus neeg hu nkauj tseem tsis tau poob nws nkauj xwb.
“Kuv tsis xav tias peb yuav tsum mus rau lub hli. Kuv xav tias tej zaum peb yuav tsum xa qee tus neeg ua haujlwm mus rau ntawd. "
Republican tus thawj tswj hwm Ron Paul teb rau nws tus neeg sib tw Newt Gingrich cov lus pom tias Asmeskas teeb tsa lub hnub ci mus tas li
Lub ob hlis ntuj
“Tsis muaj leej twg xav kom Greece ploj mus, tab sis lawv muaj tus cwj pwm qias neeg tiag tiag. Ltalis ib yam. "
Tus tsim qauv zam Karl Lagerfeld ntawm euro ntsoog
Lub peb hlis ntuj
"Thaum twg yog zaum kawg koj yuav pasty hauv Greggs?"
George Osborne tau dhau los ntawm Labor MP John Mann, tom qab tus qub tau tshaj tawm cov se tsis txaus siab rau Cornish pasties
"Yog, vim kuv tsis nyiam nws."
Gérard Depardieu ntawm seb nws puas tau pom zoo ua si Dominique Strauss-Kahn hauv zaj yeeb yaj kiab tshiab
Plaub Hlis Ntuj
"Peb muaj tus thawj tswj hwm, uas kuv xav tias yog tus txiv neej zoo, tab sis nws tau siv sijhawm ntau dhau ntawm Harvard, tej zaum."
Mitt Romney, leej twg muaj ob degree los ntawm Harvard, nyob rau lub sij hawm Barack Obama siv nyob rau hauv Harvard
"Ua rau piss laus neeg dawb tawm zoo li koj."
Tyler, tus Creator, tom qab Newsnight's Stephen Smith nug nws tias nws lub suab paj nruag yog dab tsi
"Thaum cov tub hluas muaj teeb meem, lawv tshem cov tub qhe."
Labor MP Dennis Skinner - 'Beast of Bolsover' - ntawm kev tawm haujlwm ntawm Jeremy Hunt tus pab
Tej zaum
"Kuv tuaj yeem hais dab tsi zoo txog Ken Livingstone? Ntev dhau los nws tau ua qee yam zoo, tab sis tam sim no kuv tsis tuaj yeem nco qab tias lawv yog dab tsi. "
London tus kav nroog Boris Johnson, ntawm nws Labor rival
"Qhov koj hu ua austerity, kuv hu ua efficiency."
David Cameron qhia empathy rau cov neeg raug kev txiav
"Tsis yog ib qho uas kuv yuav siv, nws hais ncaj ncees."
Robert Yaj - QC thiab tus kws sau phau ntawv sau tseg - muab nws lub ntsej muag ua rau Jeremy Hunt siv lo lus "kev cuam tshuam"
Lub rau hli ntuj
"WMD."
Thaum Alastair Campbell khob Armando Iannucci rau kev lees txais "peb tsab ntawv me" ntawm OBE, tus neeg tuaj dab qhuas teb nrog ob peb tsab ntawv ntawm nws tus kheej.
Lub Xya hli ntuj
"Yuav ua li cas ib tus neeg tau txais txiaj ntsig zoo los ntawm kev nyob ib puag ncig nrog tus neeg poob zoo li Nick Clegg?"
Tory MEP Daniel Hannan tsis yog tus kiv cua ntawm kev sib koom tes
"Kuv zoo siab tias cov txiv lws suav zoo tau nkim."
Hillary Clinton, ntawm raug pelted nrog txiv hmab txiv ntoo hauv Cairo
Lub yim hli ntuj
“Tsis muaj leej twg tau thov kom pom kuv daim ntawv pov thawj hnub yug. Lawv paub tias qhov no yog qhov chaw uas peb yug los thiab loj hlob. "
Mitt Romney, ntawm kev thov tias Obama tau yug los txawv teb chaws
"Kate Middleton muaj qhov zoo nkauj silhouette. Ntawm qhov tod tes, nws tus muam … yuav tsum tsuas yog qhia nws rov qab xwb. "
Dab tsi yog charmer, Karl Lagerfeld
“Lub rooj zaum no tau muab lawm.”
Ntawm lub rooj sib tham Republican, Clint Eastwood tau ua ib qho kev ua yeeb yam tsis zoo nrog lub rooj zaum, uas tau zaum hauv kev xav. Barack Obama. Thawj Tswj Hwm tom qab tweeted ib daim duab ntawm nws lub rooj zaum tiag tiag, ua tiav nrog cov lus sau saum toj no.
Cuaj hlis
"Kuv tau txais daim ntawv nplaum me me rau koj: Osama bin Laden tuag thiab General Motors tseem muaj sia nyob."
Joe Biden, rov qab Republican hluav taws thaum lub sij hawm nws kev sib tw
“Tsis txhob hnov qab cov rooj zaum hauv lawj; Hnub no yog hnub tus thawj coj ntawm Titanic rov npaj cov icebergs. "
Comedian Graeme Garden siv qhov pom tsis pom ntawm David Cameron qhov kev hloov pauv
"Kuv txhais tau tias, qhov no yog qee tus neeg uas ua rau Michele Bachmann zoo li hippie."
Democrat Claire McCaskill, tus thawj coj ntawm nws tus neeg sib tw Republican Todd Akin, uas sib txawv ntawm kev rape, thiab raug cai rape
"Tej zaum kev sib ntaus hauv ncoo tau tawm ntawm kev tswj hwm hauv tsev so."
Vince Kab ntawm lub hauv paus pib ntawm kev sib tw ntawm cov phooj ywg kawm ntawv David Cameron thiab Boris Johnson
"Kuv tau raug hais tias cov lus tso dag txog kev sib raug zoo hauv chav kawm tsis zoo rau kev sib koom ua ke ntawm kev sib koom ua ke. Tab sis raws li ib tug mere pleb, kuv tiv tsis tau. "
Cable dua, thuam Tory nplawm Andrew Mitchell rau kev liam tias hu rau tub ceev xwm ua pleb
Lub kaum hli ntuj
"Yog tias nws xav paub seb qhov kev tsis zoo li cas hauv Australia niaj hnub no, nws tsis xav tau tsab ntawv tsa suab hauv Pawg Neeg Sawv Cev, nws xav tau daim iav."
Australian PM Julia gillard txiav nws tus lej rov qab, Tony Abbott, poob rau qhov loj me, tom qab Abbott thuam lwm tus MP rau kev tsis ncaj ncees
“Tsis txhob tham txog qhov koj mob siab rau tib neeg. Qhia kuv ib yam dab tsi. Qhia kuv txoj cai. Qhia rau kuv txog txoj cai uas koj ua lub luag haujlwm. "
Biden rau Paul Ryan, ntawm kev sib cav tswv yim lwm tus thawj tswj hwm
"Qhov no tag nrho cov hnub rov qab mus rau thaum peb loj hlob hauv Kenya. Peb muaj kev sib tw tsis tu ncua ntawm kev ncaws pob, nws tsis zoo heev thiab ua rau nws chim siab. "
Obama ntawm Donald Trump, tom qab Trump rov mus xyuas cov lus thov tias Obama tau yug los nyob rau sab hnub tuaj Africa
"Thaum kawg ntawm hnub, txhua yam nws tau ua tau dhia tawm ntawm lub platform - lees paub siab heev."
John Humphrys Tsis txaus siab los ntawm Felix Baumgartner's 24-mais skydive
“Kuv tsis saib kuv cov nyiaj laus. Nws tsis loj npaum li koj li yog li nws tsis siv sijhawm ntev. "
Obama, thaum lub rooj sib tham thawj tswj hwm thib ob, tawm tswv yim txog Romney txoj kev muaj nyiaj
"Nrhiav cov lus qhia sartorial los ntawm ib tug txiv neej uas meej meej xim-dig muag yog me ntsis zoo li nug tus lemming rau cov lus qhia."
Jeremy Paxman tsis tau ua siab zoo rau Jon Snow cov lus qhia tias nws hnav khi
"Tus thawj tswj hwm, peb kuj muaj nees thiab bayonets tsawg dua, vim tias peb cov tub rog hloov pauv. Peb muaj cov khoom no hu ua aircraft carriers, qhov chaw dav hlau tsaws rau lawv. "
Obama dua, tom qab Romney yws tias Asmeskas Navy yog qhov tsawg tshaj plaws nws tau ua txij li xyoo 1917
Kaum ib hlis
"Peb tsis tau hais kom koj mus, tab sis peb tsis hais kom koj nyob."
BBC Trust tus thawj tswj hwm Chris Patten tau txais tom qab tus thawj coj dav dav George Entwistle
Hlis ntuj nqeg
"Kuv tau hais tab sis tsis paub tseeb tias Sigmund Freud tau muaj vasectomy xyoo 1927, pom tseeb tsis ntev txaus."
Fox News hais Roger Ailes teb rau kev thuam los ntawm nws tus thawj coj tus tub xeeb ntxwv, Matthew Freud. Matthew kuj yog Sigmund tus tub xeeb ntxwv
tus saib xyuas
